Saturday, February 6, 2010

Children of Divorced Parents are Strong

It is really sad to see the rate of divorce is getting higher. Marriage seems to be a joy ride to some of these couples but not all. It seems so easy to march down the aisle and say I do. To make a commitment without firm foundation is like building a house on a sandy land. Unfortunately, the children are the ones who suffered the most. Unknowingly, these children mature faster on the way they think. In fact, with proper guidance, they can be as strong as a Mahogany tree when it comes to life principles and become better citizens in the future.
I can say this with much confidence because I am one of them. My parents separated when I was still nine years old. Life seems so hard to understand at that time. My hopes went to the drain when my parents announced that they were separating. Divorce is not practice in the Philippines. Annulment of marriage certificates is allowed now but not before. So, my parents made an agreement to get separated. It was not legal but a lot of couples are doing that, even until now. 

I cried a lot of times after my father left. Sixteen years of marriage went to history for nothing. Infidelity, committed by my father, was the reason of the separation. We are five in the family. I am the fourth. I was still very young when it happened. I, almost, run away because I could not find any joy anymore with my life and studies. Thank God, my teachers guided and helped me. Then I realized later that it seems I am no longer a child on my way of thinking after seeing such pitiful marriage. A result of anger toward my father, I made a resolution that I will not choose a man like him when I get married. That I will prove to him that he is totally mistaken on his decision.

As I look back on that part of my life, the only thing I can say is that thank God for having such teachers in my life. I, almost, made a wrong decision that I will regret all my life if not of them. I am, also, thankful to my mother that in spite of being in pain, she tried her best to guide us though the Bible. She did not teach us to have hatred toward our father. She tried to bring my father back to us. She even tried to make their marriage work again. My father's pride is just as high as a mountain that he is not willing to humble down but I have forgiven him. I can heartily say that.

The effect of my parent's separation was different to each of us. Somehow, I can only say that all of us became serious with our studies and on the way we look life. We started to have goals and aspirations that are totally different from other kids. We tried our very best to make life easier for our mother. We learned to survive with little that we had and created new things to make life enjoyable. There were some setbacks to some of my siblings but it was not as bad as making life miserable to live.

Children of divorced parents can be strong and they can be better parents someday but with proper guidance. They are not hopeless and helpless beings but they are individuals that can be reliable and trustworthy. All they need is a shoulder to cry on, a person, who has good moral standing, to become their mentor, and lots and lots of words of encouragement. In fact, you can be that person if you are willing.


  1. Well, I am really sorry. Its really sad to know that you've gone through so much in your life. I am happy that you had great teachers and a wonderful mother to help you on the way. I am sure your father will lose his pride someday and return...

    Have a wonderful weekend and a blessed day!:)

  2. Thanks for your kind sympathy. I am crying. Just kidding but really thanks. I am strong, by God's grace. Enjoy your weekend, too!

  3. When me and my ex-wife had a divorce early this year, we tried our best to explain it to our kids and for them to accept it soon. My ex-wife used a kids'planner/organizer which really helped them cope up with this situation. So far, they have been doing ok. Thanks to ( and its kids'planner.